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Pretty Savvy Friday: What’s Your Gordon Gartrell?

Now, we all know you don’t need a $95 shirt unless you’re onstage with your four brothers, but that never stopped Theo from wanting one, and it didn’t stop any of us from lusting after some article of clothing we were sure would change our lives.

You know, some magical piece of cloth that would transform a dumpy wallflower into the life of the party, a bookish girl into a smokin’ siren, or maybe just a 5’2″ woman into a slightly taller-looking woman with great calves.

Project Runway: A View From the Husband Seat

I’ve been watching Project Runway every week– I just haven’t found much to say. So I thought I’d turn it over to my husband Diego for a week and see if someone with congenital black/dark blue colorblindness* could find something interesting about this rather stitch-by-numbers season from Lifetime.

Watch as I rue the day.

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So I’m thirty seconds into watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum and already I’m wishing my water bottle was laced with cyanide. It’s not the fashion designs that have me gripping the couch– I haven’t really seen any yet. It’s the designers. The show opens with each of them saying a few carefully edited words about themselves or their designs or butterflies, I can’t recall specifics, but know for sure that I am going to enjoy hating one or all of them over the course of the next sixty minutes. But let me not get ahead of myself. Allow me to open with a few words of my own regarding ME.

Better! Faster! Stronger!

You might notice a couple of funky things going on around here in the next few days.  Redirecting your browser, doubled-up posts, etc.  Not to worry, it’s all part of our master plan!  Mwahahaha!!!  We’re redesigning The Pretty Year for maximum awesomeness.  Stick around, it’s gonna be better than ever!  Exclamation points!!!!

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Thank you for being a friend!

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• Vintage maxi dress from Annie Creamcheese
• Gold earrings (last seen here)– a gift, I think?
• Black and gold T-strap pumps (last seen here, I think?) from Nine Studio (now Boutique 9) by Nine West, circa 2005 or so

ANTM: We'd Listen to Dottie Read the Phone Book

As usual, I’d much rather listen to Dottie Narcotic talk about her root canal than watch an entire episode of this show.  And so would you!

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So who else was totally geeked at the JabbawockeeZ appearance on this week’s show? Man, I love them. You could say they’re performing at the Cane Everybody Who Shows Up Festival and I’d still be excited.

On the other hand, I wasn’t as excited about Lil Mama. I feel bad for dumping on her because she’s still so young. I definitely remember being a complete embarrassment at 20 and was fortunate enough to not have cameras around. But after blurting out all that transmisogynist garbage this season on Dance Crew and then bumrushing Jay-Z‘s VMA performance (hope she sent Kanye a muffin basket for that one), I think I’ve pretty much had my fill of Ms. Mama. Calgon, take her away. She needs to lay low and work out the rest of those kinks of young adulthood offscreen.

But I guess it is kinda weird I’m saying that while she’s guesting on a show that features girls her age who are just as embarrassing on film. I don’t feel like examining that double standard, so let’s just focus on our weekly lessons.

Lesson One: Don’t Be a Stealth Ninja

If I’m not mistaken, Benny Ninja has been a cycle staple since C7. So why am I always surprised to see him? Or maybe it’s less of a surprise and more of “Oh, wow; time to go to the dentist again already?” But I bet everybody would prefer to see Benny twice a year instead of the dentist.

Like, here’s a dentist horror story. About seven years ago, I went to the dentist and she filled a cavity for me while she and her hygienist talked about their stupid suburban lives. And the hygienist wouldn’t shut up about how she just got this new trampoline in the backyard and it was so funny that time she jumped on it while wearing clog mules and her shoe flew off! Ha ha ha, you guys! Anyway, the dentist finished up, told me she was done and that it’d be a little bothersome for a couple of days and sent me on my way. It was bothersome for a couple of days, and then after a few weeks, I started experiencing excruciating pain. I finally scheduled an emergency visit and it turned out that the tooth she’d worked on had developed a full-blown abscess and I needed a root canal! And it was her fault because she wasn’t paying attention to what she was doing! And I had to pay $200 for the root canal that was her fault!

I bet you nobody has a Benny Ninja horror story like that. Maybe an ex or former roommate or something, but that’s it.

Pretty Put-Together: The Return of How Do I Wear This?

Okay, so it’s been a while.  After that belt turned out to be a bust (good news, though– I sold it to Mustard Seed), I kinda gave up.  But you had to know I’d come crawling back to you.

Let’s get it (re)started.

 

Item: Blue felt hat

Purchased: Just a couple months ago at the DC Goodwill for $2.49

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“Committed” has more than one meaning.

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• Red dress (last seen here), from Ann Taylor Loft– $20 on sale with coupon
• Jacket from Les Copains via Filene’s Basement, circa 2004
• Goldtone bracelets from Mumbai (Bombay) via my Uncle John
• Gold platform peep-toes (last seen here) from Steve Madden via Filene’s Basement– $12

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It’s time to tighten our belts.

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• Black shirt dress (last seen here) from Ann Taylor Loft– $19.88 on clearance
• Chunky green necklace from Lane Bryant– $15 on sale
• Reversible belt (last seen here) by Betsey Johnson via Filene’s Basement– $16 with coupon
• Leopard print patent platforms from Loehmann’s– $14

Pretty Savvy Friday: What Kind of Shopper Are You?

I mean, we all know what kind of shopper I am. The cheap kind.

Okay, the “frugal” kind.

I come by it honestly– my mom trained me up from toddlerhood in the art and science of bargain hunting. It honestly didn’t occur to me until I was well into my teens that you could buy the clothes at the front of the store. You know, the ones not on the clearance rack? The ones without orange stickers or big red signs hanging overhead?

I mean, I guess I knew they were for sale, but I didn’t believe that anyone actually bought them. To me, everything not on sale was kind of like a museum display. Nice to look at, but not to touch. Mom and I always made a beeline for the back of the store and did all our shopping there. Unless we had a coupon– but really, even then. (I mean, why not take AN ADDITIONAL 25% off your ALREADY MARKED DOWN item?)

This is still pretty much my M.O., though I admit there’s a bit of illogic to it at times. I am that girl who will buy a dress marked down to $40 from $200, but probably wouldn’t buy the exact same dress if it were listed at $40, full price.

In my defense, I just don’t think I should have to pay more for the same item if I can get it cheaper elsewhere, or later. A $40 dress carries the promise of being marked down to $30, or even $20. A $40 dress that was originally $200 probably won’t get any cheaper.

Of course, there are exceptions. H&M is already pretty cheap, and the way they handle their inventory, if you don’t snap it up now, it’s not likely to be there tomorrow. Forget about waiting for a sale if you really like it.

But in general, I am all about the sale rack, the Insiders Reward Card, the coupon, the mailing list.

As I get older and a little savvier, I find that I am modifying my madness to include a little more method. Now– especially for higher-ticket items– I’m into what I call “clothes stalking.” Clothes stalking involves actual interaction with those front-of-store racks. Heck– with the CS system, you even get to try on full-price merchandise at Bloomie’s and Neiman Marcus (where I was shocked to discover COMPLIMENTARY BOTTLED WATER in the dressing rooms, no lie). You take a photo of your favorites (and maybe the attached tag with the style number, etc.) and then you do a little online comparison shopping, eBay surfing, etc. You get yourself on the email list for the stores that carry That Dress and wait for sales and coupons. Then? You pounce!

It’s how I got a green version of the purple “Janis” La Rok dress on our current masthead (second from the left). Original price at Cusp?  $378.  My price, during a crazy shopbop.com sale-plus-coupon? $75.60.

Of course, it’s always gamble. I snoozed on this black sheath dress from ATL and now I can’t even find it on eBay.