So long wordpres.com, you can see us at our new digs.
Now, we all know you don’t need a $95 shirt unless you’re onstage with your four brothers, but that never stopped Theo from wanting one, and it didn’t stop any of us from lusting after some article of clothing we were sure would change our lives.
You know, some magical piece of cloth that would transform a dumpy wallflower into the life of the party, a bookish girl into a smokin’ siren, or maybe just a 5’2″ woman into a slightly taller-looking woman with great calves.
I’ve been watching Project Runway every week– I just haven’t found much to say. So I thought I’d turn it over to my husband Diego for a week and see if someone with congenital black/dark blue colorblindness* could find something interesting about this rather stitch-by-numbers season from Lifetime.
Watch as I rue the day.
So I’m thirty seconds into watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum and already I’m wishing my water bottle was laced with cyanide. It’s not the fashion designs that have me gripping the couch– I haven’t really seen any yet. It’s the designers. The show opens with each of them saying a few carefully edited words about themselves or their designs or butterflies, I can’t recall specifics, but know for sure that I am going to enjoy hating one or all of them over the course of the next sixty minutes. But let me not get ahead of myself. Allow me to open with a few words of my own regarding ME.
You might notice a couple of funky things going on around here in the next few days. Redirecting your browser, doubled-up posts, etc. Not to worry, it’s all part of our master plan! Mwahahaha!!! We’re redesigning The Pretty Year for maximum awesomeness. Stick around, it’s gonna be better than ever! Exclamation points!!!!
Thank you for being a friend!
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As usual, I’d much rather listen to Dottie Narcotic talk about her root canal than watch an entire episode of this show. And so would you!
So who else was totally geeked at the JabbawockeeZ appearance on this week’s show? Man, I love them. You could say they’re performing at the Cane Everybody Who Shows Up Festival and I’d still be excited.
On the other hand, I wasn’t as excited about Lil Mama. I feel bad for dumping on her because she’s still so young. I definitely remember being a complete embarrassment at 20 and was fortunate enough to not have cameras around. But after blurting out all that transmisogynist garbage this season on Dance Crew and then bumrushing Jay-Z‘s VMA performance (hope she sent Kanye a muffin basket for that one), I think I’ve pretty much had my fill of Ms. Mama. Calgon, take her away. She needs to lay low and work out the rest of those kinks of young adulthood offscreen.
But I guess it is kinda weird I’m saying that while she’s guesting on a show that features girls her age who are just as embarrassing on film. I don’t feel like examining that double standard, so let’s just focus on our weekly lessons.
Lesson One: Don’t Be a Stealth Ninja
If I’m not mistaken, Benny Ninja has been a cycle staple since C7. So why am I always surprised to see him? Or maybe it’s less of a surprise and more of “Oh, wow; time to go to the dentist again already?” But I bet everybody would prefer to see Benny twice a year instead of the dentist.
Like, here’s a dentist horror story. About seven years ago, I went to the dentist and she filled a cavity for me while she and her hygienist talked about their stupid suburban lives. And the hygienist wouldn’t shut up about how she just got this new trampoline in the backyard and it was so funny that time she jumped on it while wearing clog mules and her shoe flew off! Ha ha ha, you guys! Anyway, the dentist finished up, told me she was done and that it’d be a little bothersome for a couple of days and sent me on my way. It was bothersome for a couple of days, and then after a few weeks, I started experiencing excruciating pain. I finally scheduled an emergency visit and it turned out that the tooth she’d worked on had developed a full-blown abscess and I needed a root canal! And it was her fault because she wasn’t paying attention to what she was doing! And I had to pay $200 for the root canal that was her fault!
I bet you nobody has a Benny Ninja horror story like that. Maybe an ex or former roommate or something, but that’s it.
Okay, so it’s been a while. After that belt turned out to be a bust (good news, though– I sold it to Mustard Seed), I kinda gave up. But you had to know I’d come crawling back to you.
Let’s get it (re)started.
Item: Blue felt hat
Purchased: Just a couple months ago at the DC Goodwill for $2.49